phuck_may

i just came home from piano. actually i came home 20 minutes ago but i sat outside for 10 minutes crying. i didn't want my mom to know i was crying.

the piano teacher told me how frustrating it was to play with me. how much of a drag and pain i was. and i know i am slacking off so much... it's my fault. i have no excuse besides the fact that i just don't enjoy playing the piano.

i felt so useless though. so hurt. everything... i haven't been able to achieve anything. i felt like a fat loser with nothing to even be proud of. i still feel like it.

so that's why i have my goals.
GOAL 1 lose weight and get to 103 pounds.
-lose about 16 pounds in... 11 days. GET TO 135 BY APRIL 29!
-run and exercise more often
-WATCH WHAT I EAT
GOAL 2 not suck at piano.
-learn the song and play it well BY MAY 9
GOAL 3 ace school
-get all A's and 4's and 5's on the AP tests
GOAL 4 own at tennis
-WIN MY MATCHES
-get to the top court of tennis legitimately
GOAL 5 get good at guitar
-learn how to play canon rock
-learn how to BE SWEET


those are my goals...